Smell You Later, Roomie

I have had countless roommates over the past six years as I live in a three-bedroom apartment. While I have always been the one to screen new housemates, people are very good at hiding their real selves. 　

I found the apartment from a friend who was moving and needed someone to take over the room. I had been subletting a room for a month in hopes to get into this highly sought-after neighborhood, and my dreams had finally come true. However, the two other guys who lived in the apartment were slobs, to put it mildly. The house seemed like it had never come in contact with a cleaning rag or broom, there were large ashtrays filled with cigarette butts and I swear the dust was an inch thick. 　

It took me almost two days to get the house in a livable condition. I somehow convinced them to stop smoking inside and got them to agree to hire a cleaner. Things were good. But, like most people in China, they both decided to move on and it was time for me to find some new roommates. 　

I thought I should try out girl roommates. The first girl I found was on a gap year in college and came to teach and study Chinese. Then, there was the other girl... We met in a cafe and she came across as a nice professional. She was closer to my age and also worked in media, so naturally, I thought she would also be a nice person to live with. 　

I explained the “rules” of the house – no subletting, message in the roommate group if you plan on having people over, leave the house as clean as when you found it and that I had a weekly viewing get-together with my friends on Tuesday nights that ran from 7:30pm to 10pm. They both agreed. It didn’t take long for the second girl’s true colors to come out. First, she moved in with enough stuff to fill a three-bedroom apartment and ended up leaving multiple boxes piled in the living room for weeks. 　

The second red flag, major red flag, came when I arrived home to see a random guy sitting on the couch with no one else there. I asked him who he was and he said he was the subletter and asked me if I had been told about him. No, no I had not. I immediately messaged her and she said she was going to be gone for a month and got a subletter. She had never even met him and left a key under the mat at the door. I was furious! I told her she had agreed not to sublet when she moved in, and even if she really needed to, renting her room to a stranger without even consulting us or meeting him was unacceptable. But what could I do? The guy was there and he had paid her. 　

She was only back for three weeks when I was having my weekly movie night. She came out at 8pm yelling in front of my friends that we should not have a weekly movie night at our house. What? We talked about that from the day she moved in. She was a completely different person from the girl I had met and continued to make life miserable. Even when I tried to kick her out, she refused. But thankfully, she finally left – see you never. 　

I can’t tell which was worse, her or my last roommate who had the worst body odor of anyone I have ever met. Friends would actually leave my house when he came out of his room. It was unbearable. I had to have a talk with him. After the talk, it got better but it was still strong. I had to buy an automatic scent sprayer to put in between our rooms to stifle the smell. Once I even saw him spraying air freshener on his feet as he came in the door. Nice try, but it didn’t cut it. I can’t tell you how many candles I burnt through in his two years of living there. 　

Not everyone was terrible. I made some amazing lifelong friends and created countless memories. However, I am excited to move on and finally get my own place for the first time ever. At least then I can control the smell and cleanliness and won’t come home to unwanted visitors.